headstrong thanksgiving ;)

Circling, circling,circling your head, comptiplating everything youve ever said, now i see the, trth i got to tell, different motive in your eye and now im out, see you later

Haaaapppppyyyyyyyy ttttuuuuuurrrrrkkkkkkeeeeeeyyyyyyy day:)
Still fallin more and more in love with lex lol nbd
Bye guys :)

i want to marry her

I asked her last night, if she had ever wondered about us.
She said yes.
I wonder if shes ever wanted to at some point...
of course i have i mean hell, shes on my mind CONSTANTLY.
My conclusion, if her and i do end up together at somepoint, im going to do the same thing i did with emma, and honestly, this one is worth getting hurt like i have.
I want to marry her

I gotta girl :)

So today, i gotta gf :) amazing :)

Its been a while since ive ACTUALLY been in a WORTH while relationship... i hope this one ends up being something more then a kiss a squeeze and then breaking up.
Im really longing for something. Something worth while...
Maybe Her and i will last.
Hopefully.
She is quite pretty :)
I enjoy her company, i love her sense of humor, shes a writer, shes bubbly and exciting :)
a big change from the normal, yes, but i hope shes worth it. Everyone needs an opposite, i think i found mine :)
Ha, and its only the first day. <3
We'll see :)

Amazing birthday

:) I had an amazing birthday today!
Alya told me she likes me (happy dance)
Hayley came and hugged me, even better.
I ACTUALLY HAD AN EX TELL ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY! >:D
and i told lexi why i love her. And how i wrote this poem and blah blah blah.
Speaking of which, i have to go find my love :)
Bye lovelies <3

Pre-birthday dream

So i had a dream last night.
It had emma in it.
I guess my mind is telling me im not over her.
Well in my dream i wass texting her, and we were talking about being together and shit.
And it randomly flooded into her and me finding each other and having a make out session, like all the old one. Like legit, peices of my fav make out sessions with her were made into that one.
But then, i left her, we pretended nothing happened, and when i got home, i got a text from her, saying 'you could have me if you want me.'
NOW WTF MIND?! look, im over her. I swear.
im so confused and when i woke up, right? I kept thinking about it. Like as if it actually happened.
God.
Ruined me for a little, until i realized that i shouldnt care. Not like she does.
Oh well...
Next post, 'Amazing birthday :)'
Kay, bye lovelies, read on <3

I'm in a play :)

Guess who i am in this misticale play? :)

Its disney... And i'm NOT a princess <3


Did you guess yet?



Yupp :) they want a GIRL for Aladdin :)
so happy :) lol :) first practice is tuesday :)

No shame november? I'm game :)

Now, i gave up on the 50,000 words i mean, guys, i have the attention span of a fucking gold fish. I blink and im not concentrated.
So now, im writing about something the intrests me.
My fears. Thats what its about. Your supposed to write your fears and explore the really dark side of you.

Change of subject, watching Kristin Stewart <3 shes so awkward i just wanna hug her :D
SHES SO ADORABLE >:D




thats all.
'I just broke a few ligaments'
*crowd awws*
'GUYS! *glares*
*crowd stops*

^ hehehehe yay <3

11:11 am 11:11 pm tomorrow

I know that if i wish it, it might not happen, but i want more then the world for it to work and have an amazing life after <3 so please, if there is a god, have next monday be amazing and be happy for the rest of my life <3 and have her be happy <3 and have it all work out with her and me <3 and guess what? its not emma.

Last night

So, i had a convo with Bateman all last night, and the whole time, im smiling, happy, because im sitting here talking to the girl i love. I dont care if she doesnt love me back, i dont. I love her. and it will always be that way. Thats not a promise, thats a fact.
But anyway, the conversation went in a different direction when i said:

me: lol xD you know, im really really really going to hate you for awhile after you move. just future warning, so take all my love in now lol
and from there it went like this:
Alexandra: I am :) I don't want you to hate me though :( and ima miss youme: itll be only for a while, i promise, you have this uncanny ability to make me happy again. You hve no clu how much i'll miss you...Alexandra: lets not talk about it anymore By that time my mom showed up so i quickly shut the computer off, leaving this next message until now.and it said something that seemed to strike me down. And i just dont know how to reply to it. Which is really sorta stupid on my part. Because its not much...

These messages were sent while you were offline.

7:47 PM Alexandra: i want to be happy for the rest of the time we have

You're so quick to criticize.

wow. I said hey to her today, asked her about the dream, and i did this constantly. It was fun :) So yeah, i realized one thing. She is very very quick to criticize anything about others but always thinks she looks great.
Sure I'll give her props, she hasn't had a bad day this year.
So there's that, but really? small things? Like seriously. get over it.
I've been writing my NaNoWriMo novel, and (this is for people who don't know) its basically my thoughts on stereoptypes, fandoms, characteristics, etc. It amuses me, and has made a ton of people laugh. Its not meant to be offensive, but it can be if you take it the wrong way. So, if you DO take it the wrong way, don't read it.
here, i'll give you a few of the entries.
Later.

So bye my lovelies :)

I feel...

i feel like nothing happened, like when she passes me i shouldnt be staring at the floor... i think i might actually talk to her tomorrow. be like 'HE EMMA! TELL ME BOUT THE DREAM!' lol we'll see.

C(E+J)-B+N= C(B+A+N)-2N> B

i just love that equation, ya know :) i've been pretty damn boring on here lately. I'm sorry for that. There isnt much going on actually.
Emma has had her first problem with Jacob, not that it matters all that much, it really isnt a big deal. He just found out about me and her, which made me laugh and conclude he was stupid because i mean, hell, he should know by now. Actually he should know before now xD but he's making a big deal outta notin' kinda like... well me. But its worse then me. He's freaking out, like its the end of the world, and during this, im laughing because he stares at me when he walks by. not a normal stare, but the 'imma kill you, bitch' stare xD the same one i gave to him at first.  But ya know, i think he's actually a cool guy. He seems respectful lol funny young boy.
On to another subject :) *laughs*
I was told on tumblr that i am actually attractive D: wtf drug are you on bro?!  may be cocky and egotistical. but i am NOT attractive.
Another subject change lol
Bateman <3 you know this girl ive been obsessing over, sorry for all of that btw lol but yeah, i still like her. Nbd bro :)
lol now,im doing NaNoWriMo andits just a gigantic book on opinions lol so, its not that exciting lol its sort funny though, but its on gigantic world issues.
So, you know, im lost for what to talk about....
OH heres one, Maggie, she says she isnt pretty, i think she is :) she really is. And here is  picture of her and maddie :P

hehe its side ways xD maggie is th one staring off lol just fyi :)




So, idk whats up with me and emma, realization #1 i atleast know i can walk around and pretend she isnt there. I wonder if she knows its really hard for me to not look at her or smile or say hey. Because when i walk with paige, Paige will tell me that emma is walking our way and i'll stare at paige.


well, now she knows xD yayyy *confetti*

Hmmm imma go tumbl :) by my little lovelies :)

her :)

its still her :) shes still ever so beautiful :) and i dont know what to do with myself.
Ive decided, im going to try to be what she wants, even if i cant change sex. I just want to be recognized by her as more then just me. I want to be who she loves :)
And i cant help but WANT, her.
Shes always so perfect. Ive never seen her look bad, in a bad mood, or ever unhappy :)
Shes just so beautiful and smart and sensitive and... wow :) Im in love with this girl. And shes been in front of me the whole time. The whole time i was away, even when me and Emma were together, i shouldve realized what i felt around her. And now i do :) and all i can do, is hope that my wish at 11:11 will come true :)
<3 I love her. thats it. <3

She was here, i swear -.-"

So after school right? hanging out with bateman, loving that. shes just SO fucking adorable when shes focusing. Like GAWD.
So anyway, chaney went to go drive alexis to her car, came back and then left me because 'I WASNT THERE'
boring. fuck.
So, i figured, You know HANG WITH ERIK! :D lol we are indeed the leaders of the fucking one fourth bitch. If you dont like us, too bad, we lead you little freshmen =3=
We are how you are known by the upper classman. BITCH.
So, i think i might if im bored enough, go through a list of us freshies and make the list of the one fourth :) that is all <3
Oh and emma walked up with emily... and chocked me. Wow new level of hate goin on there.
Its like Damn... am i really that pointless to you know?

I DONT CARE! IM A FUCKING LEADER >:D
that is all.
bye my little lovelies <3

ooo threating lyrics it fits, hm? :)

the magical world of confusion, ran by ME >:D

So i have come up wit a love formula, thats very complicated but fun, here it goes.
C+E= happy C
E+C= regretful E
E+J= mad C< Happy and teasing E
J+E= unkown J because C doesnt know the child but thinks he thinks like:
J+sex= happy J.
C+any girl= slightly happier C
C+ N= confused C and N
C+B= happy C= random B
C+A= confused C cuz A said she didnt like C anymore but C realizes A still likes C because A is a little bit of  liar and likes towin C over, to the second power.
So here is the total formula for me.



C(E+J)-B+N= C(B+A+N)-2N> B


AHA! I HAVE FOUND IT!
Now solve for... B >:D ahahaha found you math nerd! there is no longer a plce to hide! >:D
lol but yes, that is my love life in a nut shell.

Nicole, you dissapear so quick, why is this and can you teach me? :D

Nikki keeps dissapearing to venture into the land of my ex.  I am infact upset with that. Because, when Nikki knows where she is going, i cant find her. but i guess she is spotting the actors right now :)
She is just amazing :) I mean, come now, shes beautiful, exciting and all around adorable :) whats not to love?
Saddly i cannot load the picture of her JUST yet :)
But i will :)
Eeep :D exciting!
So No more fake names, i just cant remember them all.
So maggie met Emmas boy toy. Apparently she approves, thus i approve. So long he treats her right yada yada yada.
But why is it im constantly thinking of her?
I dont care.  I, no thats a lie, i do care, a whole hell of a lot. Its like me and Allard.
Complicated.
So, I wish Nikki could teach me her ways of sneaking around as a techy ;)
All and all, today was amazing :)

bye lovelies :)